| I was talking with a friend today. We were having this | | | | The need to compare is born from a place of lack and |
| nice, empowering conversation, sharing ideas - and | | | | reeks of insecurity. It assumes the position that one |
| then we started analyzing another mutual | | | | thing is better than another, and that our take on the |
| acquaintance (already sound familiar?). Nothing terrible, | | | | world is 'correct' (remember a few newsletters back... |
| but my friend astutely pointed out when our focus | | | | there's no correct anything, just different ways of |
| started slipping more toward the other person's | | | | seeing the universe). And while invoking comparison |
| shortcomings, and suggested we shift the discussion | | | | may give us the facade of feeling better about |
| back to our own affairs. I, of course, being a | | | | ourselves - of feeling worthy - when you slice to the |
| (sometimes defensive!) Law of Attraction coach tried | | | | core, it accomplishes exactly the opposite. |
| to validate the merits of our digression, saying there | | | | So the next time you feel drawn to comparison, step |
| was no malice in our words - that we were just using | | | | back and consider where it's coming from. Instead of |
| the other person's behavior as a vehicle for learning. | | | | using others to leap-frog your status in life, take a |
| Thankfully, my friend wasn't completely buying in. | | | | stance for acceptance and understanding, recognizing |
| Talking about others is not the issue here by itself. | | | | that any perceived differences you have with another |
| People naturally come up in our thoughts and | | | | is merely their unique version of the world. Jockeying |
| conversations, and it's entirely normal to reflect on | | | | for position is a formula for dissatisfaction and |
| them. The distinction arises in our tone of observation, | | | | emptiness. It's where the term 'rat-race' originates. You |
| in the way we feel. When we view others in kind, | | | | can leave all that behind for the more fulfilling world of |
| accepting, and complimentary light, good feelings are | | | | compassion and co-creation. When you drop the need |
| prevalent, and our vibrations are high. It's when we | | | | to compare, an entirely new path unfolds before your |
| plunge into negativity and nit-picking that our vibrational | | | | eyes. People begin to show up for you in ways you |
| levels take a turn south. | | | | never thought possible. Your life flows more smoothly |
| Unfortunately, killing off good feelings and high | | | | than ever before. This is what happens when you align |
| vibrations isn't difficult. It could start with something as | | | | with your highest potential. And this is what humanity |
| 'harmless' as "Can you believe what that person is | | | | was always meant to be. It's in your hands. You have |
| wearing?" And with that seemingly small judgment, the | | | | the power to change the world. |
| snowball is off and rolling. Law of Attraction plainly | | | | Until next time... |
| states 'Like attracts like.' So where there's one | | | | With love, |
| comment, there's usually one more, then another. | | | | -Jeff |
| Before you know it, that particular conversation - and | | | | Ask Coach Jeff... |
| likely many of your subsequent interactions - take on | | | | Question: A romantic relationship I was in recently |
| the low-vibrational tone of proving what's wrong with | | | | ended, and I can't get the person out of my head. I |
| everyone else. | | | | have limited our contact somewhat, but often find |
| The need to compare is the real villain here. When you | | | | myself reminiscing, having feelings of jealousy, etc. |
| think or say something derogatory about another | | | | When all's said and done, I'm left with being upset. How |
| person, you're basically comparing yourself to them. | | | | can I feel better about this? |
| What you're really saying is, "At least I'm not as bad as | | | | W.M., -New Jersey |
| they are!" And in that moment, you create separation, | | | | The Law of Attraction states simply 'What you give |
| vainly attempting to elevate yourself by diminishing | | | | your attention to, you get more of.' When you |
| another. You rise to the top by default, so to speak. | | | | reminisce with 'feelings of jealousy,' you come from a |
| In reality though, up is not where you're heading. In fact, | | | | place of lack (i.e. I don't have that person in my life |
| you're not moving anywhere at all. Comparing | | | | anymore), and it makes sense you would feel upset |
| ourselves to others gives us a built-in excuse to stand | | | | about it. So if you continue having those types of |
| still. By making ourselves appear better, we become | | | | thoughts, guess what you're attracting into your life? |
| convinced that we don't have to forward our own | | | | More lack, and more upset feelings! I understand how |
| agendas (since we're already 'not as bad' as those | | | | difficult it can be to put someone out of your mind |
| people). It's a ticket to stagnation. Rather than focus on | | | | completely, but if you can do that, great (reducing |
| how WE could be growing, we shine a spotlight on | | | | 'limited' contact to NO contact may help here). This |
| exploited voids in another's life. Then, of course, we | | | | gives you no other choice than to think about |
| don't have to look to the one place which really | | | | something else - and if you make these new thoughts |
| matters - ourselves. | | | | POSITIVE, you will attract positive events into your life. |
| The good news is, like anything else, the lights can flip | | | | If you can't get the person completely out of mind (and |
| on at any moment. And just as my friend and I shifted | | | | no one would expect you to - random thoughts can |
| our own thoughts and words to higher ground, so can | | | | and will pop into your head, especially if the relationship |
| you. In those moments when you find yourself | | | | was important), just don't dwell on them. Deliberately |
| magnetically diverting to finding fault and flaw with | | | | focus on more high-vibration thoughts (such as wishing |
| others, ask yourself this empowering question: "What | | | | the person well, success/happiness/etc. With that small |
| does this say about ME?" Because if we're being | | | | shift, you start to turn the tides in your favor. You begin |
| completely honest, that's often the one place we don't | | | | to vibrate feelings of peace, gratitude, and genuine |
| dare look. What we find might not be the rosy picture | | | | compassion for others. And when that happens, guess |
| we're venturing to paint. When we hold up the | | | | what you attract into your life - abundance! Try it and |
| proverbial mirror, we are likely to discover we're no | | | | see what shows up for you. |
| different from what we criticize in another. | | | | |