The Last Martian Goes Home

The Martian stood in the open field surrounded by thevibration-meter on his wrist and within a few minutes
best government artillery pointed at his head and chestthe increasingly hostile emotions all around him set the
and back.alarm off, creating a loud piercing shrill.
The infantry troops formed a circle around him.A nervous gunman, his nerves taut, accidentally pulled
Up above, fighter jets waited for the word to launch athe trigger.
missile right into the corn field if necessary.The other gunmen, confused, assuming that an order
Unaware of the hostile force that had greeted him,had been given, began firing as well.
innocent of all thoughts of death and destruction, theThe bullets passed through the green giant.
handsome green giant, using his intergalactic translator"Clear the field," shouted the commander.
device, said:The soldiers raced to their vehicles. Within minutes the
"My wonderful friends:entire field was deserted. And the first missile struck.
"We have noticed your suffering on this planet and IThen the second and the third. Within a few minutes, a
have been sent as an emissary to bring you goodsmall crater had formed.
tidings.Watching all this on a giant television screen, the
"You're not here to suffer.pictures being taken by satellite, the president and all
"You don't have to be hungry.his men were astonished to see that the green giant
"There is no need to cry.and his shiny vehicle appeared to be unharmed.
"I have come to bring you hope."We'll have to go nuclear," was the last command
"It's possible to wish for what you want.given.
"It's possible to move beyond merely trying.Soon a huge mushroom of smoke enveloped the
"You see all being everywhere are here TO THRIVE."crater.
"The president wishes to speak to you," said aWhen it cleared, there was no sign of the alien and his
brusque man in army fatigues and enough medallionscraft.
to sink a ship. He threw a walkie-talkie at the alien'sFar above the chaos, another flying saucer, monitoring
feet.the scene, the real green giant decided to turn his
"Hello, Mr. President. I have good news for you. Youimage projector off . The hologram image on the
see, the entire Universe is onyour side."surface of the earth disappeared.
The President, surrounded by his entire cabinet,While the entire country was suddenly celebrating their
experts on UFOs, and the top-ranked officers of thevictory over beating back the invasion, apart from a
armed forces, barked: "Why are you here?"small group of malcontents that actually felt sorry for
As the two spoke, the agitation around the presidentthe alien, the jolly green giant said to his wife, "I don't
increased. This was obviously a breach of nationalthink they're ready yet."
security. And it was getting worse by the minute.Pushing the joystick with a sigh, she pointed the craft
Unknown to them all, the green giant had a specialout of the earth's orbit at warp speed.